Five Guys Burgers & Fries rated 4.9

In a desert of the same burger over and over again, I have found an oasis: Five Guys Burgers and Fries is amazing.  Ok, so they don't have any beer and the french fries etc. are a la carte, but their hamburgers aare excellent!  The bun was the perfect size.  Their regular hamburger comes with 2 patties!  The toppings were delicious!  Not only that (are you ready?) THEY MAKE THEIR FRIES ON THE PREMISES!  For five bucks I had one of the best hamburgers I have ever tasted. 

They will only make the hamburger one way - well done; however, they have found a way to cook the hamburger all the way through and still leave it juicy!  The french fries were very, very good.  I am seriously impressed.  Five guys has now become my eatery of choice.

Happy eating,

Cranky

Salem Beer Works Classic Burger rated 4.7

This is the first time I have been to Salem Beer Works, but it won't be the last.  All of their beer is on tap!  If you like beer, visit this place.  If you love beer, move to Salem.  One more thing about the beer: I was having a difficult time deciding which beer I wanted to try, so the waiter brought me a Sampler Pack!  Four, 4 oz. beers arranged from lightest to darkest.  It was fantastic.  I know; I know; you're thinking, but this is supposed to be about the burger.  You are partially correct.  Let me explain: If one is listening to somebody with an amazing voice (Pavarotti, for example), all one wants to hear is the voice.  You do not want to hear instruments or people talking or ANYTHING.  You paid to hear this great tenor and that is what you want to hear.  Similarly, if I cook a filet (Filet Mignon or tenderloin - depending on which part of the country you are from), I am not going to cover it with ketchup or 'steak sauce' or ANYTHING because I want to taste the filet.  A hamburger is different.  A hamburger is similar to a symphony.  In a symphony you have lots of different sounds made by lots of different instruments played by lots of different people.  All of this chaos has to come together to make one beautiful sound that is wonderful to listen to.  A hamburger is lots of different food with lots of different textures all at different serving temperatures.  All of this has to come together to make one wonderful, balanced, taste.  This is a microcosm of the eating experience: the waitstaff and the food and the drinks and the atmosphere and even the PLACE all have to work together to make one enjoyable dining experience.  So while this IS about the burger, there are lots of other factors to consider as well, and beer is one of those things that just goes perfectly with a hamburger.

Okay, I ordered the New Classic burger.  Unfortunately, this comes with a grilled bun.  Fortunately, they take the time to spell that out in the menu so I was able to keep the bun sacrosanct.  The toppings category is where the Salem Beer Works really distinguishes itself.  The waitperson actually asks if you would like lettuce, tomato, pickles, and onions with the burger and (if you say yes) they all come on the side!  What a fabulous idea: allow the customer to make the burger the way HE wants it!  In addition to that, you can order a whole slew of other toppings, though they cost extra.

The bun was just the right size and complemented the burger well.  The toppings were excellent and the french fries were delicious.  One (and perhaps the only) negative thing is the price.  10 dollars for just the burger is a little high; however, the waitstaff almost make up for that.  Our waiter was a guy named Peter and he was fantastic!  He actually made our meal more enjoyable.

Normally, I would finish my meal with a cup of coffee; however, our waiter suggested that the coffee was...less than great, and he suggested I get a beer instead (which I did.)  So...would the Salem Beer Works get the Cranky Seal of Approval?  Absolutely, in fact I would go out of my way to go to this place.  It was that good.

Happy eating,

Cranky

Cheesecake Factory's Old Fashioned burger rated 4.4

The Cheesecake Factory is an 'Old School' type of restaurant.  What I mean by that is they specialize in a particular thing (in this case cheesecake) and their specialty is so good they have been able to develop a restaurant around it.  Anyway, Mrs. Cranky wanted to go there; fortunately for me, they have recently upgraded their menu, so they now offer a hamburger (can you imagine a restaurant the doesn't have a hamburger on the menu?!) 

The Cheescake Factory has taken the same route as Chile's in that they offer a hamburger; however, they only offer it 'all dressed up' (in this case with tomatoes, lettuce, pickles, and mayonnaise.)  They also grill the bun (sigh).  Apparently they labor under the impression that I am incapable of ordering toppings for my burger so that I can get it the way I want it.  Whatever the reason, at least they take the time to tell you in their menu.

My burger came as it is spelled out in the menu (suspiciously like a Burger King Whopper Jr.) and I have to admit, even though I am not a big fan of mayonnaise, this burger was very good!  The pattie was tasty and was actually cooked medium.  The bun was just the right size and blended perfectly with the rest of the burger.  The toppings all worked well together and the french fries were quite good.  As always I finished my dinner with a cup of coffee and their coffee was great!  On top of that, the service was excellent!  So even though the price was a little high, I definitely give this the Cranky Seal of Approval.

Happy eating,

Cranky

99 All Star Steakburger rated 4.3

Tonight I went to the 99.  Ok, I understand this is a Friday night, and I understand that I went there smack dab in the middle of their dinner rush, AND I understand that I was in a party of 9; however, they told us the wait would be thirty to 45 minutes.  The wait turned out to be almost 90 minutes.  That is terrible.  Fortunately I was with a bunch of my very best freinds and that made the wait bearable; nonetheless, there is no excuse for a 90 minute wait.  I saw parties of 4 come and go.  That quickly becomes very irritating (the Service rating reflects this.)

When we finally got seated, they did manage to sit all of us together.  That was nice.  Our waitress' name was Tanya and she was excellent.  She was very attentive without being over-bearing.  In fact, she is the only reason they got three pickles in the Service rating.  She gave us the menus and that is when I got my first look at the drink selection: 9 beers on tap!  And one of them was Bass Ale!!  The 99, like Chili's, has two draft beer sizes (big and bigger) and the only thing better than a large draft Bass Ale is a larger one.  To all my soda drinking buddies (and I am talking especially to the two guys who hang out with Tim), the Pepsi family was well represented.  In fact, the Pepsi family was the ONLY soda family that was represented, so if you want diet you had better like diet Pepsi.  Mrs. Cranky doesn't go much for soda so she had a mango margarita (I think it was mango.  It may have been tangerine.  Whatever it was, it was a girly-drink.)  I had a taste of her drink and I am not afraid to say that it was an ex-QUI-site drink.  It was fabulous.  This is the kind of drink (as one of my friends said) that you wish you could make at home.

But enough of all that, on to the 'meat' of my post.  On the recommendation of one of Mrs. Cranky's colleagues, (Mrs. Cranky likes to refer to her as the Phantom Pickler) I ordered the All Star Steakburger.  This is a burger that comes with lettuce, tomato, pickles, carmelized onions, cheese, and a 'special' sauce.  I ordered mine medium, no cheese, and that is exactly how I got it.  Not only was it cooked exactly to order, it came with its own paper wrapper to catch all the bits that can get away from you when you're eating something like this.  I found the paper wrapper annoying, but I can see where some people would really appreciate it.  This burger came on a bun that defies description.  According to the menu, they make the bun themselves and one of the ingredients is Sam Adams Lager!  I believe it because that bun was wonderful.  The topppings were fresh and crisp and I could even taste the carmelized onions; not enough to overpower the burger, but they were there nonetheless.  The french fries were excellent.  This burger also came with coleslaw.  I'm not all that crazy about coleslaw (honestly, is there ANY way to really make cabbage tasty?), but as coleslaws go, this one was fine.  The only negative things I can say about this burger is that I never tasted any special sauce, and it was a little pricy.  I finished my meal with a cup of coffee (black, no sugar) that was hot and flavorful.  I wouldn't say the coffee was on par with the rest of the meal, but it was pretty good.

So, what does all this mean?  Does this burger get the Cranky Seal of Approval?  Absolutely.  This is a burger I would drive out of my way to get.  On a Friday night at dinner time, I would normally expect a restaurant's food to be at its worst.  If I had this burger at its worst, then I can't WAIT to try it at its best! 

Happy eating,

Cranky